Thursday, December 06, 2012

watching numbers..

Life lately. I can some it up in one word. Stressful. My job, as many of you know, plain stinks and makes me unhappy on a daily basis. Believe me I am searching for alternatives but nothing has come up yet. I am also a person that adds stress to my life when it's not needed. For instance, coming onto my blog and seeing I have one less "follower" (I really hate using that word- so I'm going to say reader). I KNOW that someone deciding to not read my blog anymore should have no impact on my thoughts, but sadly it does. I begin to think, did I do something wrong? Did I offend someone somehow? Am I just plain boring? 

I started my blog the end of last January - I didn't blog during the holidays, so this is my first time. I'm a virgin holiday blogger. It's difficult. I (as I'm sure the great majority of you) are swamped right now trying to finish making gifts while I'm also navigating a new business and dealing with a day job that is putting great demands on me daily. There are some days that I don't even want to pick up my lap top when I get home because I've just worked 8, or 10, or 12 hours staring at a computer. Getting yelled at by people I don't know and people that apparently feel that they are my sole duty each and every day to take care of. While I attempt to give the best customer service possible, I simply can not make everyone happy.

Not everyone should be out of work for as long as they are trying to stay out of work and get denied..then I'm the bad guy. Believe me - those people hate me. When really, they should look at themselves and just GO TO WORK and not blame me for their financial difficulties at the holidays. Please don't ever tell a case manager if you go out on disability that it is THEIR fault for your problems. That THEY are the reason you are going to get kicked out of your home. Because you are lying. The people that try to tell me that they are about to get evicted because we haven't paid them in 2 or 3 weeks are liars. I know eviction regulations, I also know that your mortgage company can not foreclose on your home for ONE late payment. So do not lie to try to make the case manager feel bad about your current situation that you have gotten yourself in. If you are getting evicted that is because you mismanaged you money for an extreme length of time, longer than a six month (maximum) short term disability claim and us not paying you for a couple weeks was not the cause.

With all that being said and my point to this mini vent, is that blogging at the holidays is plain hard. I honestly do feel lately that I haven't posted really anything of worth (well besides my lovely Etsy shop owner interviews- I love those) But it's all been "filler" Boring filler. I thought it would be fun counting down Christmas movies. But I'm already bored with it and wanting to roll them into one post! I've actually been watching quite a few awesome documentaries that I want to do "watch it" posts on. But then I'm thinking to myself, I already have a trillion more Christmas movies to list off and it will be this overwhelming mess of movies! 

I did want to share some Christmas projects too. But again have just felt so broken lately. I just want to come home and watch Merlin (hahah we've been watching Merlin BBC show on Netlix - It's quite cheesy but for some reason I'm addicted to it!)

How is everyone else doing..thoughts on the subject..what is my subject beside a long rant that will make you all think I'm completely crazy (if you didn't already).

I have tomorrow off. I may just edit and roll all these Christmas movies into one post and have a do-over for holiday blogging. I don't want to loose anymore readers because they think I'm some lame, boring person. They may be right..but I can sometimes pretend I'm cool hidden behind a computer.