Tuesday, November 06, 2012

I'll take that with a side of honesty, please: Dishonesty

I wanted to start a new feature, not necessarily weekly, just whenever I feel in the mood to dump my thoughts and feelings about certain topics. Unedited, no filters, probably offensive to some, but always truthful. I know that Kaelah does a feature like this and I really respect her for it. Not everything in life is politically correct, and we are the owners of our blogs, if we can't feel free enough to write whatever comes to mind and whatever we want to say, then why have a blog?

What a better way to kick of this feature than to talk about dishonesty or as I like to call it, a ten letter word for "liar, liar pants on fire!". Why do people feel the need to be dishonest with someone? To come out and flat out lie and take the chance of being caught? While the truth isn't always pain free, I'd much rather someone be straight forward with me, then be dishonest to spare my feelings. Because, as I said, lies always tend to have a way of surfacing. 

Honesty has always been a "thing" with me. If I find out you have been dishonest, I feel disrespected and will loose respect for the person caught in the lie. Without respect, what do you have?

Recently I was lied to, from someone that I really did respect and held in high regard. From someone I never would have thought would have lied. And the truth, had it just been told to me, while hurtful. I would have gotten over it. Thought it was a bunch of crap but shrugged my shoulders and moved on. Now that I know about this lie. It makes me wonder, has this person lied to me before? What can I trust coming from said person again? And if I'm being honest the answer for me is I can't trust anything coming out of the mouth from this person again, because there will always be doubts. 

I'm sure I've been lied to by many people in my years on this earth. I'm a very trusting person. I'm the sort of person that trusts before knowing someone, when I guess maybe it should be the other way around. But even still. People you know for years can still lie to you. So I guess that part doesn't really matter. 

I've never been able to lie. Case in point, I can remember being in  high school I was out on a first date with this guy and it was a group date - there were four couples. My parents told me to stay at the movies and not "walk the strip" (that was the main"drag" in town with shops and fast food places- where kids tended to end up getting themselves into trouble). After the movie, they all wanted to go walk around. What did I do? Called my parents and told them and they came to pick me up! haha yeah yeah, I was a goodie-two-shoes. But I just couldn't lie to them. I'm not sure if I even can lie. I tried before, it doesn't work. I actually get embarrassed and think, what the hell are you doing! and then just say the truth. So, I guess what I'm saying is if there is anything you want to know about me or ask me, feel free to ask and I'll be straight forward with you.  

If people say they lied to spare someone's feelings. The whole "oh honey that looks lovely on you and definitely doesn't make your ass look big." type of "small lie" eh... you won't loose my respect but I would probably just shake my head and think you were/are a pussy. When I ask someone's opinion, I'm not asking for it to feel good about myself, I truly 100% want to know! If my ass looked big and I looked like crap in a particular outfit, I want to know! Hello! But maybe that's just me? I don't really ever ask this question. So no one has to worry about me asking what your thoughts are of what I'm wearing besides my mister on random occasions when I dress up. (this is very rare, so he doesn't hear it much either! haha)

But this lie was definitely a scale above the little white lie. It was a flat out lie, that never needed to happen. And no, I'm not going to share what it was, you know protect the (not so) innocent and all that. But it sucked. It really truly sucked and has left me a tad bitter. 

I really wonder why people lie and are dishonest. Some people, I think, they probably think it's protecting the person. Not knowing may be better than knowing kind of deal. Sometimes this is definitely the case. There are a lot of things I wish I simply didn't know. I wish people wouldn't tell me half the garbage they tell me. But if they are being honest, I don't have a problem.

That's all it comes down to. Be honest. You aren't protecting anyone by lying because as I said..the truth somehow always has a way of being set free and will come to back to bite you in the ass!

**I'll take that with a side of honesty, please: is a sporadic feature where I share whatever is on my mind. No edits, no filters. Just unapologetic, sometimes offensive, always truthful thoughts.